What's your Zoadiac?

Today's horoscopes for me (Gemini)

--Greco-Roman: Mercury is permanently retrograde from your point of view, and therefore the next 8-10 years will be hard ones.

--Chinese: Expect lots of shit coming your way in the next 65-80 years. You were born in the year of the roundworm. What else should you expect?

--Indian: Somehow, you have antagonized Chandra (the moon). You will have 5-12 years of really shitty, spiraling bad luck. Also, the Sun isn't too fond of you either. *shrugs*

--Old Norse: *pulls runes out of bag* *they're all blank* wtfff

--Tzolk'in: You're too old to use this Calendar. Use the Unmitigated Long Count instead.

--Egyptian: You are in a state of De Nile *laugh track*

ON a more serious note, when we were kids, we were fascinated by astrology silliness and leylines and planetary convergences and all that. Then I learned that "serious" astrologers pore over lunar tables and do Trigonometry (gasp!) and other evil mathematics.

nope nope nope. *backs out of seance room*

I'd almost rather have learned that it's all hooey made up on the spot, rather than angles and arcs and trines and shit worked out with meticulous detail reconstructing the disposition of the solar system up to 10000 years ago, and only then are the details made up and padded in.

Aquarius

Occultist

OK. I will go along with this line. Berserker!

Capricorn.

cancer

my job is fun

maiden, i'm nice

Virgo... Most beautiful sign.

-Leo hates we take their attention
-Taurus loves our patience
-Aries hates us as lovers
- Aquarius just don’t care
- Geminis cant fool us
- Scorpios just like us in the sack
- Cancers get addicted to us
- Libra know we are cheaters/emotionally attached
- Pisces need us for therapy
- Capricorns get bored of us
- Virgo our best lover

... Virgo is the most attractive and beautiful zodiac... and yet the most envied. ^.^ We don’t ask for attention it naturally gravitates towards us.

Saggitarius and I don't even play an archer LULW