POE 1 and 2 experience sofar as a below average gamer... 1000hrs in still feel like a failure..

The easy mode is the campaign basically. It sounds like you are newer to the scene while your pals are pretty advanced players, based on what I am seeing. I wish they'd spend some more time with you, helping you fine-tune your build and gear.

Maybe if you let your buddies know you are really struggling, they will slow down some, and help explain things a big? Maybe give you some financial help and explain why the gear they give you is improving your build?

A few people I know were very helpful over the years, and the time they spent helped my character builds a great deal.