Silliness? You mean to tell me there is still silliness out there?

NOW LET THE SILLY BEGIN. THIS IS A DRAMATIZATION!!! DO NOT TAKE THIS SERIOUSLY!!! (who am I kidding they will. they also do. I doubt anyone read any of the above or this sentence. rehtie enil siht daer yeht kniht ton od I. Well then ZA WARUDO TOKI WO TOMARE...(7 seconds go by) ROAD ROLLER DA!!! MUDA (x100) Soshite toki wa ugoki desu) RUBBER CHICKENS and EAGLES FOR EVERYONE!!! except that one guy with that one shirt...he is actuall a stick with some leaves on it.


Hype Team Leader: "Ok players about 3.23"

All Players: (raise hands)

Hype Team Leader: "Oh come on!!!...Wait for the reveal"

All Players: (lower hands)

Hype Team Leader: "Thank you. These are the patch notes for 3.23 (reveals notes)

All Players: (loud inaudible cursing)

Hype Team Leader: "Our new league...

Spellcaster in the Front Row: "Now we have to run lab besides ascendancy?"

All Players: (gasps and worried murmurs)

Hype Team Leader: "not exactly you can..."

Totem Player in Back Aisle: "Stop lying all the gem stuff is in the lab."

All Players: (groans and moans followed by inaudible cursing)

Trapper in the Back Row: "did you cripple melee further?"

Hype Team Leader: "...(checks notes) Yes...wait a minute (checks notes again) No..."

Summoner in the Middle Row: "What you mean no? You totally did"

Hype Team Leader: "No we did not. Tornado Shot and Lightning Arrow got buffs."

Range Players: (loud uncontrollable laughter)

Melee Player in the Middle Row: (facepalm) Tornado Shot and Lightning Arrow are not melee skills...

Rangers: (louder uncontrollable laughter)

Melee Players: (inaudible cursing)

Hype Team Leader: "now see here melee did get buffs"

Totem Player in the Front Row: "Like what?"

Hype Team Leader: "(checks notes very closely) Cleave got some stuff..."

Spellcaster in the Back Aisle: "at the cost of attack speed. You forgot to say the entire thing...again"

Melee Players: (inaudible cursing)

Range Player in the Back Row: "Settle down people give them a chance to find a melee buff"

All Players: (wait patiently)

Hype Team Leader: (checks notes again very carefully) "Found something Dual Strike has gotten a buff..."

Melee Player in the Back Row: "it gets more attack speed?"

Hype Team Leader: "No"

Totem Player in the Middle Row: "It gets more added flat damage?"

Hype Team Leader: "No"

Spellcaster in the Front Row: "It gains a mechanic so it synergizes with other mechanics like free rage generation or random charge generation?'

Hype Team Leader: "No definitely not"

All Players: (increased worried murmurs)

Hype Team Leader: "Look who got buffs to what is not important. We have more ascendancies now and look falling corpses!!! Isn't that something? You guys like that stuff right? This new league will have new things and better balance..."

Summoner in the Back Aisle: "Why does melee suck?"

Hype Team Leader: "look melee is fine..."

Melee Player in the Back Row: "As long as you don't play it. You keep leaving out that part"

Hype Team Leader: "Enough of this. You have Boneshatter that is good enough. We are doing the best we can with melee. Just wait for POE 2.

Spellcaster in the Back Row: "So instead of buffing the numbers you crippled them further, barely made any attempts at addressing the melee problems, buffed other playstyles that don't even need it, then tell them to wait for POE 2 that may or may not solve their issue?

Hype Team Leader: "Yes. I do not understand why you all are getting bent out of shape about all this. We can't do anything right now.

Totem Player in the Front Row: "You haven't been doing much to begin with."

Hype Team Leader: "yes we have"

Range Player in the Front Row: "well outside of meme adjustments what have you really done about the melee problem?"

Hype Team Leader: "...well...we...um...there is a vision...Wait for POE 2?"

All Players: (inaudible cursing)

Streamer next to Hype Team Leader: "now see here the gem changes will..."

Spellcaster in the Left Aisle: "Do you want another brick to the face?"

Streamer Next to Hype Team Leader: (stops talking)

Melee Player in the Back Row: "people we need to be peaceful..."

Totem Player in the Back Row: "nah we done past that at this point...it is time we begin...THE PLAN...

All Players except Melee Players: (gasps and worried murmurs)

Hype Team Leader: ....The Plan?...

Summoner Player in the Middle Row: "We will start..."

Totem Player in the Middle Row: "We got next..."

Melee Player in the Middle Row: (looks up) "...huh?...EVERYONE EVACUATE NOW!!!"

Melee Players: (evacuates everyone)

Summoner in Space: "Target Locked...Operation B is go..."





(Miles away from the destruction)

Melee Player from the Back Row: "Why!? Why would you do that? What is wrong with you all?

Summoner from the Middle Row: "Look they keep crippling you guys and for no reason. How long do you think it will be until they come for the Summoners? or the Totem players? We ain't going out like that."

Hype Team Leader: "We hear you we will add more totems and a crossbow...melee players like totems and crossbows right?"

Summoner from the Middle Row: "you see?"

Melee Player from the Back Row: "...you fu..."

All other Playstyles Players: "DRAMA!!!"


ok I am done being silly...

this is good :D