Earth to Karen
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get a grip, Karen. it's 9:45 on a Thursday evening and we're sitting in an otherwise empty Wendy's dining room with three kids who won't shut the fuck up about Minecraft. these boring branded milkshakes will do enough to placate them until we get home. remember that patience is a virtue, before we got here that kid behind the counter was merely enjoying a moment a relative silence, a respite before he walks his jangly ass home to lord knows what kinda bullshit situations he's dealing with. at least we have our autonomy as grown adults. leave the kid alone. who cares if our fries are taking a bit longer, they're firing the fryer up for us. it hasn't been used in 15 minutes. so what if they're doing it begrudgingly? and besides, let's say you do get in the kid's face and ask for the manager. you'll be tunneling visioning on that poor underpaid woman, completely oblivious to the background din of our kids still not shutting the fuck up about Minecraft. and I don't want to hear either. please. we'll be home soon enough.
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Oh for fucks sake Karen, that's even worse. Please, please stop being publicly racist. I don't really care what you think at home — that's your prerogative in our great land of freedom — but we're still at Wendy's for God's sake. You're making people realize it's possible to be a driver of cancel culture and a social conservative simultaneously, something we've put thousands of hours of work into covering up ever since we invented canceling people. What. Are. You. Doing.
Stahp. Wait, what do you mean you have a movie contract? When Stephen Colbert was killed by HYDRA's Project Insight in 2014, the comedy world lost a hero. Since his life model decoy isn't up to the task, please do not mistake my performance as political discussion. I'm just doing what Steve would have wanted. Last edited by ScrotieMcB on Jul 5, 2021, 10:35:35 PM
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