Recently moved, new place has a feral pigeon problem....

So I bought a tennis racket. I served one up earlier like I was freaking Rodger Federer, and it felt great. Amazing, even. For you animal lovers, the pigeon didn't suffer, I'm quite certain it was killed immediately on impact. Its neck was broke. I hit this pigeon so hard with a tennis racket, that it bounced off the ground 4ft into the air. I totally clobbered this pigeon! It got rekt, I'm very happy to say. Would totally do it again.

Yes, it's legal to kill feral pigeons in my area, so no laws were broken.

The beef I got, is they show up, shit, then build a nest right in their own poop. These things are some of the nastiest creatures on the planet. They're up there with cockroaches and silverfish.

I'm having to improvise with a tennis racket, because I live in an urban area now.

Here is another way at looking at this. I could put poison out. The animal would most certainly suffer more via death by poisoning, than an instant broken neck from a tennis racket. Also, the poison might bait other birds or critters who wouldn't otherwise fuck with my personal space, and they die, because I'm too fucking lazy to serve up the occasional pigeon that lands on my patio with a tennis racket.

if there is a god somewhere, hope it's not a pigeon

I´m definitly interested in what the people who castrate cats have to say to this !

MrSmileys prefered method follows the guidlines of the food industry, killing it quick without letting it suffer. Theres a debate in our country on whats the correct way to castrate the newborn foodsource piglet which proximately will achieve a lifespan of 6 months.

On the other bright side my ol´tomcat returned after 4 Month, surprised he´s still alive, must have been on a stroll, he´s lacking teeth so chances of survival are minimal.
In this time he must have developed an affinity against human feet, he goes full offensive when he sees feet, he probably got kicked around too much in his quest to find the last uncastrated female of his species.

Pets seem to hold no value compared to food.

"My name is Lachdanan, and I am cursed" in an oddly scottish accent was heard in the halls of the house...

to some degree yes, without the scotsman.

I´m just curious which god they are refering to, it´s probably not the jehovian, thou shalt enslave the animals, i made them for thou to eat-version.
Maybe one of the new additions ?

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鬼殺し wrote:

I hope it is.

I hope it is too, so I can officially make an edgy as fuck username called GoDcRuSher21, and actually live up to it.

If God was a pigeon, and I just totally rekt it, wouldn't that make *me* God?

in your area, are you allowed to own owls or falcons? they'll keep the pigeons away.

if its just like your house or apartment or something, you can also use land-based pigeon hunters as pets

Get a fake owl, and put him up.

You won't have to worry about the rats of the sky after doing so.

*Owls dont fuck around irl

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DarthSki44 wrote:

Get a fake owl, and put him up.

You won't have to worry about the rats of the sky after doing so.

*Owls dont fuck around irl

Well if you can afford it, hawks are a better form of pest control since birds tend to learn that scarecrows aren't dangerous after a few days.

There are a quite a lot of farms in the United States that use them for bird control during harvest season.

Just having Hawks fly circles around an area pretty much scares the shit out of all the small birds and clears all of them away.

I got a simpler solution. Bought some screen material, and I'll just box my patio in.

But, it was still fun reking a pigeon with a tennis racket. Made me feel strongk (say it in a deep Russian accent). It actually took a couple failed attempts before I finally nailed it. Had to be stealthy and quick. Like an assassin looking for a window to slip in a massive burst damage attack! 100% crit with a bazillion crit multiplier.